Bruce Dan Died at 64

The man who linked tampons to toxic shock died today of...toxic shock. No way!

You got me, that isn't true. Men can't get toxic shock syndrome. It is just another woman problem, like dishes, depression and dirty laundry.

Alright, you got me again, men can get TSS.

How do men get TSS, you ask? Because the bacteria that causes it gets into their skin,usually through surgery. Usually prosthesis installments, but not always. Similar to a staff infection, people who have allowed it into their bodies will suffer high fevers, a whole body skin rash and eventually organ failure.

TSS burst into the American psyche in the 1970s and 1980s when scores of previously healthy women developed the disease and dropped dead in days. A commonality between them, besides their general good health, was that they were all on their period. It was soon discovered that a lubricant used on the super absorbent tampon, Rely, made by Procter&Gamble, who still makes tampons, was a bacteria magnet.

This discovery also drastically increases the anxiety felt by little girls upon discovering they are a woman now. Something that is unnecessary and redundant. So thanks for that, God.

What am I getting at here? A man who has saved thousands of lives, not just lady lives but all types, is being forever commemorated by dirty tampon talk and a thorough discussion on TSS, an obituary you are truly happy the person will never have to read.

Really though, thanks Dr. Dan Bruce.

Also worth noting about him, his BA was in aeronautics and he got a degree in biomedical engineering one year later. This goes to show that they just don't make us kids like they used to.